《英语名人家书》 英汉对照

rikokushin

23．欧内斯特·海明威致

母亲（格雷斯·霍尔·海明威）

  

亲爱的母亲：

十分感谢您给我寄来马歇尔·菲尔德展览的目录，以及您在展览中展出的油画《铁匠铺》的复制品。这幅画太棒了，我真想看一看原作。

您来信谈及《太阳照样升起》这本书，我没有回信，因为我无法抑制愤怒的心情，写带有愤怒心情的信是愚蠢的；而且，给母亲写这样的信更是超出了愚蠢。对您来说不喜欢这本书是十分自然的，我很抱歉您看了使您感到痛苦和厌恶的书。

但在另一方面，我一点儿都不为这本书而感到惭愧，除了在某些方面，比如，我也许没能成功地更加准确地刻画我写的人物，也许没能成功地把他们栩栩如生地展现给读者。我肯定这部书不会令人愉快。但这部书并非完全不令人愉快，而且我肯定，它并不比我们最好的奥克·帕克家族的真正的内部生活更令人不愉快。您一定记得，在这部书里，人们生活中所有的最阴暗的一面都被展示出来了，同时也向公众展现了家里美好的一面，也展示了我自己偷偷观察到的那一类事情。此外，您，作为一位艺术家，知道一名作家不应被迫去为他所选的主题作辩护，而应当在他如何对待这一主题方面受到评论。我所写的人物肯定是颓废、虚伪和堕落的，——这正是我试图表达的。我只为这本书在某些方面没能成功地表达出我真正希望展示给读者的一切而感到惭愧。我有很长的一生来写其他的书，主题也不会总是不变——除非他们都如我所期望的成为真正的人。

“书评俱乐部”的淑女们，在并不聪明的书评者范妮·布彻小姐的指导下——如果她表扬这本书，我倒会感到很不自在——一致认为我为这最坏的结局而滥用天才等等——为什么这些淑女们谈论她们一窍不通的东西而且蠢话连篇呢？

至于哈德利、本比和我自己——虽然哈德利和我已有一段时间没有住在同一所房子里（我们从去年九月份开始分居，目前哈德利也许已离弃了我），但我们是最好的朋友。她和本比都很好，身体健康、生活愉快，按照我的要求，《太阳照样升起》这部书的所有利润和版税都从美国和英国直接寄给哈德利。从1月份我所看到的最新的广告中得知，这部书已第五次印刷15000本，并且销量仍在急剧上升。这部书春季在英国以《节日》为书名出版发行。哈德利将于春季到美国来，所以您能看见本比得到《太阳照样升起》的利润。我一分钱的版税都没有拿，版税已经达到几千美元，我仍然一直每餐喝我平时喝的葡萄酒或啤酒，仍然一直过着禁欲生活，并努力写出我所能写出的最好的作品。对于什么是最好的作品，我们有不同的见解——这仅仅是一种基本的不同见解——但是如果您让范妮·布彻这类人告诉您，说我在危言耸听等等，那么您是在真正地欺骗自己。我收到《名利场》、《世界主义者》等刊物来信约我写短篇小说、文章、连载，但我最近六个月或者可以说这一年都没有发表作品（年底为斯克里布纳的刊物写过几个短篇小说和一篇滑稽文章），因为我知道，现在是非常关键的时候，对我来说，安安静静地写作，尽可能写得更好，既不关心市场，也不考虑金钱能带来什么，甚至不考虑我的作品是否能出版——这一切比落入操纵美国作家们的赚钱陷阱重要得多，这个陷阱就像玉米脱壳机夺去了我那著名的亲戚的拇指。

我把这封信寄给你们两位，因为我知道你们一直为我担心，我为使你们担心而深感内疚。但你们不必如此——因为，尽管我的生命可能以不同的方式结束，但我将永远为我所爱的人们去做我所能做的一切（我给家里写信不多，是因为我没有时间，也因为我觉得写信很难，因此只写那些不得不写的信——而且，我的那些真正的朋友都知道，不管我是否给他们写信，我都一如既往地爱他们），我从来不酗酒，也不常喝酒（你们会听到某些传闻说我酗酒——他们总是把任何一个描写酒徒的作家冠上酗酒的罪名），百我所想要的一切则是安宁和写作的机会。也许你们从来就不喜欢我写的任何作品——也许你们会突然非常喜欢某部作品。但你们一定要相信，我是真诚地对待我所写的一切的。父亲一直是非常诚心的，而您，母亲，一点儿都不诚心，我完全明白这是因为您认为您有责任在您看来是灾难性的道路上告诫我。

因此，我们也许该停止那一切争论了。我敢肯定，在我的生活道路上，如果您相信您所听到的每一件事，您将会找到足够的理由觉得我使您蒙受耻辱。但在另一方面，如果您带有一点点儿诚心作为麻醉剂，您也许会看淡我的那些表面上的声名狼藉，而最终发现，我一点儿都没有使您蒙受耻辱。

不论怎样，致父母亲最真心的爱

欧尼

格斯塔德，

1927年2月5日

rikokushin

24．Ernest Hemingway to His

Father（C．E．Hemingway）

  

Hendaye，France，14 September 1927

Dear Dad：

Thanks very much for your letter and forforwarding the letter to Uncle Tyley．I had a goodletter from him yesterday．You cannot know howbadly I feel about having caused you and Mother somuch shame and suffering——but I could not writeyou about all of my and Hadley's troubles even if itwere the thing to do．It takes two weeks for a letterto cross the Atlantic and I have tried not totransfer all the hell I have been through to anyoneby letter．I love Hadley and I love Bumby——Hadley and I split up——I did not desert her norwas I committing adultery with anyone．I wasliving in the apartment with Bumby——lookingafter him while Hadley was away on a trip and itwas when she came back from this trip that shedecided she wanted the definite divorce．We arranged everything and there was no scandal andno disgrace．Our trouble had been going on for along time．It was entirely my fault and it is no one's business．I have nothing but love admirationand respect for Hadley and while we are busted upI have not in any way lost Bumby．He lived withme in Switzerland after the divorce and he iscoming back in November and will spend thiswinter with me in the mountains．

You are fortunate enough to have only been inlove with one woman in your life．For over a year Ihad been in love with two people and had beenabsolutely faithful to Hadley．When Hadley decidedthat we had better get a divorce the girl with whomI was in love was in America．I had not heard fromher for almost two months．In her last letter shehad said that we must not think of each other butof Hadley．You refer to“Love Pirates，”“personswho break up your home etc．”and you know that Iam hot tempered but I know that it is easy to wishpeople in Hell when you know nothing of them．Ihave seen，suffered，and been through enough sothat I do not wish anyone in Hell．It is because I donot want you to suffer with ideas of shame anddisgrace that I now write all this．We have not seenmuch of each other for a long time and in themeantime our lives have been going on and therehas been a year of tragedy in mine and I know youcan appreciate how difficult and almost impossibleit is for me to write about it．

After we were divorced if Hadley would havewanted me I would have gone back to her．She saidthat things were better as they were and that wewere both better off．I will never stop lovingHadley nor Bumby nor will I cease to look afterthem．I will never stop loving Pauline Pfeiffer towhom I am married．I have now responsibility toward three people instead of one．Please understand this and know that it doesn't make iteasier to write about it．I do understand how hardit is for you to have to make explanations andanswer questions and not hear from me．I am arotten correspondent and it is almost impossible forme to write about my private sffairs．Withoutseeking it——through the success of my books——all the profits of which I have turnedover to Hadley——both in America，England，Germany and the Scandinavian countries——because of all this there is a great deal of talk．I payno attention to any of it and neither must you．Ihave had come back to me stories people have toldabout me of every fantastic and scandalous sort——all without foundation．These sorts ofstories spring up about all writers——ball players——popular evangelists or any publicperformers．But it is through the desire to keep myown private life to myself——to give no explanations to anybody——and not to be a publicperformer personally that I have unwittingly caused you great anxiety．The only way I couldkeep my private life to myself was to keep it tomyself——and I did owe you and Mother a statement on it．But I can't write about it all thetime．

I know you don't like the sort of thing I writebut that is the difference in our taste and all thecritics are not Fanny Butcher．I know that I am notdisgracing you in my writing but rather doingsomething that some day you will be proud of．Ican't do it all at once．I feel that eventually my lifewill not be a disgrace to you either．It also takes along time to unfold．

You would be so much happier and I would too if you could have confidence in me．When people ask about me，say that Ernie never tells usanything about his private life or even where he isbut only writes that he is working hard．Don't feelresponsible for what I write or what I do．I take theresponsibility，I make the mistakes and I take thepunishment．

rikokushin

24．欧内斯特·海明威致

父亲（C·E·海明威）

  

亲爱的爸爸：

非常感谢您的来信以及您转来的泰莱叔叔的来信。我昨天也收到了一封他好心写来的信。您也许不知道，我对我自己给您和母亲带来如此多的羞辱和痛苦而深感不安——但我不可能把我和哈德利之间的问题全部写信告诉您，即使这是我应该做的事。跨越大西洋的信得走两个星期，而且我努力不要把我所经历过的极大痛苦通过书信转移给任何人。我爱哈德利和本比——哈德利和我离婚了——我没有遗弃她，也没有与任何人通奸。我和本比住在一所公寓里——哈德利外出旅行时我照看他。正是当她旅行归来时，她决定与我离婚。我们安排好了一切，没有流言蜚语，也没有耻辱。我们之间的问题已持续了很长时间。这全是我的过错，不关别人的事。我对哈德利只有敬仰和尊重，当我们的婚姻破裂时，我无论如何不能失去本比。离婚后，我和本比居住在瑞士，他11月份将回来与我在山里度过冬季。

您很幸运，您在一生中只爱过一个女人。在一年多的时间里，我同时爱上两个人，但我始终完全地忠实于哈德利。当哈德利决定我们最好离婚时，我爱的那个女子正在美国。我已近两个月没有收到她的来信了。在她的最后一封信中，她说，我们不能只考虑彼此，而应该替哈德利考虑。您提到“爱情掠夺者”、“破坏你的家庭的人”等等，您知道我脾气急躁，但我知道，当你不了解别人时很容易诅咒别人进地狱，而我已经目睹了、遭受了并经历了极大的痛苦，因此我不会诅咒别人进地狱。正是因为我不希望您蒙受耻辱和不体面之苦，现在我才给您写这一切。我们已有很长时间没有见面了，而同时我们的生活都在继续，悲剧发生在我的身上已有一年了，我知道您能懂得，对我来说写出这一切有多么困难，几乎无法表达。

我们离婚后，如果哈德利还需要我，我是会回到她身边去的。但她说一切都好转了，我们俩人的境况都很好。我将永远不会停止对哈德利和本比的爱，也不会停止照料他们。我也永远不会停止对与我结合的波琳·法伊弗的爱。我现在是对三个人而不是只对一个人负有责任，请您理解这一切，并理解我写出这一切也很不容易。我确实明白，对您来说，不得不向别人解释和回答提问，却又收不到我的信，这是多么困难。我是个不会写信的人，对我来说，把我的私事写出来几乎是不可能的。没有刻意追求——由于我的作品的成功——我转给哈德利的所有收益——包括美国、英国、德国、斯堪的纳维亚半岛上的国家——因为这一切，又引起了许多流言蜚语。我不在意这些闲话，您也不必在意。我已经回到了原来的自己，人们所谈论的关于我的每一个虚假的、流言蜚语类的故事，都是没有根据的。这类故事出现在每一个作家、运动员、受欢迎的福音传道士及任何演员的身上。但由于我渴望使自己的私人生活属于我自己，因此，我没有对任何人解释，我个人不愿成为演员以至于无意中给您带来了巨大的焦虑。唯一使我的个人生活只属于自己的办法就是把它保留给自己——我的确应该向您和母亲说明这件事，但我不能总是写信谈论它。

我知道您不喜欢我写的这类作品，但这是我们的品味的不同，而且并非所有的评论家都是范妮·布彻这种人。我知道我没有在我的作品中使您蒙受耻辱，而是做了一件将来会使您引以为自豪的事。我不可能立刻使您感到自豪。我觉得最终我的生活将不会给您带来耻辱。这需要很长的时间才能显示出来。

如果您相信我，您会感到快乐得多，我也会感到快乐得多。当人们问起我，您就说欧尼从来不告诉我们他的个人生活，甚至不告诉我们他在哪里，而只写信说他在努力工作。您不必为我所写的和我所做的负责。我自己负一切责任，如果我犯了错误，我会接受惩罚。

爱您的，欧尼

于法国，亨戴

1927年9月14日

rikokushin

25．Ernest Hemingway to

His Daughter（Mary Hemingway）

  

Torcello，20 November1948

Dearest Kittner：

Been working hard and missing you harder．Nomails today at all．I wrote you day before yest andforwarded a letter from your family to theExcelsior in Firenze today．Now writing you justat sun-set．Been beautiful fall weather ever sincethe day you left．I went shooting with Emilio andshot 25 small birds and we might have gotten twoducks as four flashed over us very low but wereeating lunch when it happened．Might have missedthem too．

Have my correspondence all done except forletter to[Alfred]Rice．Then will do the article．May do the article and then Rice since will have togo into Venice to get Power of Attorney notarized． Wrote Charley Ritz too．

There is a big duck shoot either tomorrow（Sunday）a．m．or else Monday．Emilio is going tolet me know tonight．Hope it's Monday as myshoulder is sore from those high，straight up and down shots．I think those are probably quite heavyloads of the light shot．Can really shoot that overand under now．Haven't started learning the doubleyet．

Believe magazines etc．held up by the dockstrike．They say over 50 000 sacks of mail on thedocks in NY．But you read the papleys too sowon't Kalten born the news to you．

Your last pictures（the tower etc．） came outexcellently．Got them last night．

No more word from Childies．

Hope your news was good．

I've been trying to stay awake and read untilmidnight or one a．m．

No local news．Mooky's foot got ok．Ateoutdoors in the sun today and he kept his head inmy lap all through lunch；clams，sole，white riceplain．Bobby the other dog，Crazy's brother，can situp to beg and also make a how do you do and aFancy Meeting You．

There's nobody living here now．Today threecouples for lunch though；a character who waseither a fairy or a cinema star or both withreconditioned woman（fenders straightened，badpaint job），a sort of Brusadelli type with woman tomatch and a brace of Belgiums．I can now tell the travelling Belgium as far as can smell them．

Best to all your friends．Love to my kitten．Begood and have good fun．It's dark now and theshooting has started．Been trying to think what aBelgium smells like（the post-war travellingBelgiums）think it is a blend of traitorous King，toe jam，un-washed navels，old bicycle saddles，（sweated），paving stones，and eminently soundmoney with a touch of leek soup and cooking parsnips．

I love you dearest kittner and miss you very，very very very，very，very much．

rikokushin

25．欧内斯特·海明威致

女儿（玛丽·海明威）

  

最亲爱的基特纳：

我努力地工作着，但对你却更加思念。今天没有收到任何邮件。我前天给你写了封信，今天又从你的家转交了一封到非伦沙的艾塞斯尔的信。现在我正在日落之时给你写信。自你离开的那天起，这里一直是秋高气爽、气候宜人。我和埃米利欧去打了猎，打到了25只小鸟，也许我们有可能打到两只野鸭，因为有四只野鸭从我们头上很低地飞过，但当时我们正在吃午饭。也有可能我们打不到它们。

除了给阿尔弗雷德·赖斯的信之外，我已处理完我所有的信件。然后我将开始写那篇文章。也许我会先写文章，再给赖斯写信，因为我得去威尼斯办理代理权的公证。我也给查利·里茨写了一封信。

明天（星期天）上午或者星期一，我们将去打野鸭。埃米利欧今晚将通知我。我希望星期一去，因为我的肩膀由于向高处垂直射击而感到酸痛。我想那可能是负荷太重。我现在已能真正地射击了。我还没有开始学双管枪射击。

我想杂志等由于码头工人罢工而受阻。他们说5万多袋邮件滞留在纽约码头。但你也看过这些报道，所以我不用再把这些消息详细转告给你。

你最新的照片（塔等等）照得非常好。我是昨晚收到的。

没有奇尔狄斯的消息。

希望你的消息都是好消息。

我一直在努力保持清醒，看书看到午夜或凌晨1点。

没有当地的消息，穆基的脚已经好了。我今天在室外的阳光下吃午饭，它一直把头放在我的膝盖上。它不吵不闹，独自待着，像白米般的颜色。另一只狗博比，是克里兹的兄弟，能坐起来讨食，也会做“你好”和“真没想到能见到你”的动作。

现在已经没有别的人住在这儿了。中午有三对夫妇在这儿吃午饭。有一个人，像女人般的男人，或像电影明星，或许两者都是，他带着一个装饰一新的女人（后背挺得直直的，浓妆艳抹），一个像布鲁斯代尔类型的人带着一个女人，还有一对比利时夫妇。只要闻一下，我就知道他们是旅游的比利时人。

向你所有的朋友问好。我爱你，小猫咪。祝身体健康、生活愉快。现在天已黑了，外面枪声已经响起。努力想想比利时人闻起来像什么（战后的旅游的比利时人），我想是一种混合味，包括了卖国的国王，挤得很紧的脚趾，没有洗的肚脐，破旧自行车的座板，（冒着汗），铺路的石子，许多钱，带一点儿韭葱汤和烹调用的欧洲防风根。

我爱你，最亲爱的基特纳，我非常非常非常非常非常非常想念你。

爸爸

于托塞罗

1948年11月20日

rikokushin

26．Adele De Leeuw to

Her Sister（I）

  

My dearest，

You've gone．And I can never get you backagain——except by talking to you．It's childish，Iknow．But perhaps it will give me some relief fromthe pent-up sorrow that makes me feel as if myheart will burst．

How often we gently scorned the people whoused euphemisms for death！“She has left us．”“Hehas passed over．”Where was their strength，wewondered，that they could not acknowledge deathfor what it was，and speak of it as death？I understand them a little better now．But at least Iwill demand of myself the will to call death by itsown name．

I know what they were trying to do．Theywere attempting to conceal the ultimate finality...at least until they could bear it．Nature bestows anumbness on us at first，giving us time to adjust tothe brutal truth．But the numbness does not lastlong enough，and the truth breaks through the veiland stabs us again and again．

Friends have been marvelous．They have surrounded me with affection and concern；theytalk or fall silent as they perceive my mood；theybring gifts of flowers or themselves；they plan littleoutings and include me in their gatherings．Theywrite letters that make the tears stream down myface，because they appreciated you so...they tellme，in warm words，how sweet you were，how brilliant，how witty，how talented，and how blessedthey were to know you．It is a comfort to read oftheir appreciation，to realize that they were awareof all your wonderful qualities．But my loss，as I goover their words，grows greater and greater．I amutterly bereft．I have been abandoned；I feel as if apart of me has been amputated．For we were soclose，we knew each other so well，we were soattuned to each other's moods——different thoughwe were in a dozen respects．

There was one letter that helped me more thanmost．It came from an editor whom you never met．She told me something which has been a kind ofbulwark，for she said，“No one truly dies who isremembered with love．”

And I know this is true．I remember you withlove．I remember everything about you，with undying love．When I think I cannot stand theloneliness any more，something will come to mind，something that I loved in you and it gives me thecourage，if only momentarily，to go on．

So that is what I will do，as I write to you．Iwill think of the things that made our life togetherthe charmed experience it was．I will remember youwith love．

rikokushin

26．阿黛尔·迪·莱乌致

姐姐（1）

  

我最亲爱的：

你离去了。我再也不可能唤醒你，我只能向你诉说，我知道这很幼稚。也许只有这样，才能使我从那被压抑着的撕心裂肺的悲痛中得到一点儿解脱。

我们多少次温和地嘲笑那些用委婉语代替“死亡”一词的人们！“她离开了我们”，“他去世了”。我们感到怀疑，他们不承认“死亡”这一事实，不提“死亡”这个词，他们的勇气到哪里去了？现在，我有些理解他们了。但至少我要求自己有意志力用死亡的原名来称呼死亡。

我知道他们在努力做什么。他们试图隐瞒这最终的结局……至少隐瞒到他们可以接受这一事实的时候。人的本性首先给我们以麻木的感觉，并给我们一些时间去适应那残酷的事实。但这种麻木的感觉不可能持续多久，事实就会从面纱下暴露出来，一次又一次地刺痛我们。

朋友们对我好极了。他们充满爱心与关切，陪伴在我身旁。他们有时与我交谈，有时保持缄默，似乎能看出我的心情；他们给我送来鲜花或者他们自己做的礼物；他们安排了一些外出游玩活动，让我参加他们的聚会。他们写来的信使我泪如泉涌，因为他们是如此欣赏你。他们用热情洋溢的话语告诉我，你是多么可爱，多么才华横溢，多么诙谐风趣，多么有才能，他们能与你相识是多么幸福。看到他们对你的欣赏，知道他们对你所有的优秀品质如此了解，我深感欣慰。但当我看到他们的那些话语，我感到我的损失越来越大。我非常地悲伤和孤独。我被遗弃了；我感到似乎是我身体的一部分被砍掉了。因为我们是如此亲密，我们是如此地相互了解，我们是如此地感情融洽——尽管我们在许多方面都不相同。

有一封信对我的帮助最大。这封信来自一位你未曾谋面的编辑。她说了一些使我感到慰藉的话，因为她说：“被人们满怀爱戴之情回忆的人是不会真正死去的”。

我知道这是真的。我满怀爱戴之情回忆你，我满怀爱戴之情回忆与你有关的每一件事。当我感到我再也无法忍受孤独时，某种东西就会浮现在我的脑海里，那就是你身上具有的某种令我深爱的东西，它给了我继续生活的勇气，哪怕只是短暂的一瞬间。

因此，那就是我所要做的，如同我写信告诉你的。我将回忆那些使我们的共同生活成为美好的经历的那些事情。我将满怀爱戴之情回忆你。

rikokushin

27．Adele De Leeuw

to Her Sister（Ⅱ）

  

My One and Only，

I can scarcely believe that it is a year since you died．In a way it has been the longest year of mylife，and the most terrible，and the darkest．But inanother way it seems only yesterday that I saw youlast...with a faint，beautiful smile on your facebecause you had found peace at last．I stood therebeside the hospital bed，looking down at you as if Icould never have enough...numb with grief as therealization swept over me that I had lost you．

For so many months you had been in pain．Thepoem you wrote about it tore at my heart，for itcame from your heart．You had told me time andagain that you did not fear death，that when it cameyou felt you would welcome it．But you had promised to stay with me as long as you could，andyou had done it，in spite of your wish to go．NowDeath had come as a friend and you were free．

It was I who was bound now．Bound to life，bound to sorrow，forced to go on without you．

I had tried so hard to keep you；I had turnedaway from the inevitable，as if by ignoring it I could vanquish it．Standing beside you I knew atlast what I was faced with，and it seemed morethan I could bear．

It was after that that I began writing to you，and those letters have made me see how much Iowed you and how I gained from you．They havebeen my salvation and perhaps now I am strongenough to go on——not without you，as I hadthought，but with you．For no one，as that perspicacious editor said，is truly dead who isremembered with love．And I have remembered youwith love，with all the love of my heart．

And you are with me．When I sit in the needle- point chair you made，you are there．When I raisemy eyes to the walls where your paintings hang，you are there．When I am at the table and gaze atthe doilies you embroidered，when I lie in bedunder the afghans you crocheted，when I dress fordinner and put on the gold bracelet and theearrings you made for me，you are there．Yourbooks line the shelves，your poems are there to beread over and over，your speaking eyes look out atme from the photograph on my desk．

I can never lose you，my gallant one．I haveonly to remember the laughter we shared，the dayswe spent together，the inspiration of your struggle against pain，the spirit with which you met life，andI am enriched and enobled．Now I know that I cannever lose you because I have remembered youwith love，and you will abide with me to the end of my days．

rikokushin

27．阿黛尔·迪·莱乌致姐姐（2）

  

我的唯一：

我几乎不敢相信你已经离开我整整一年了。从一方面说，这是我生命中最漫长的一年，最可怕的一年，也是最黑暗的一年。但从另一方面说，似乎我们那次最后的相见就发生在昨天，你脸上带着淡淡的、美丽的微笑，因为你终于找到了安宁。我站在病床前，注视着你，似乎永远也看不够……当我意识到我已失去了你的时候，由于悲伤我变得麻木了。

你在病痛中生活了那么久。你为此而写的那首诗让我心如刀绞，因为这来自于你的内心。你时常告诉我，你不惧怕死亡，当死亡来临时你会愉快地迎接它。但你也曾许诺尽可能长久地与我待在一起，你的确如此做了，尽管你希望自己离去。现在死亡像朋友一样到来了，你得到自由了。

而我如今却被束缚住了。我被束缚在生活中、束缚在悲痛中，失去了你，我被迫独自继续生活下去。

我曾经努力地挽留你；我曾经回避那不可回避的事实，似乎只要我忽视它就可以战胜它。当我站在你的身旁，我才最终知道我面对的是什么，这几乎使我无法承受。

正是从那时起，我开始给你写信，那些信使我明白我欠了你那么多，我从你那里得到了那么多。那些信拯救了我，也许现在我已能足够坚强地生活下去——不是如我过去所认为的那样失去了你，而是与你同在。如同那语言清晰完美的编辑所说的那样，被人们满怀爱戴之情回忆的人是不会真正死去的，而我正是满怀爱戴之情回忆你，用我心里的全部的爱。

你与我同在。当我坐在你做的针绣花边的椅子上时，你就在那儿。当我抬头看看挂着你的画的墙壁时，你就在那儿。当我坐在桌旁，凝视着你绣的小垫布时，当我躺在床上，盖着你用钧针编织的软毛毯时，当我为参加晚宴着装，戴上你为我做的金手镯和耳环时，你就在那儿。你的书籍排列在书架上，你的诗歌被我读了一遍又一遍，你那会说话的眼睛从我书桌上的照片里凝视着我。

我不会失去你，我最爱的人。我只能回忆我们共有的欢笑，我们一起度过的日子，你与病痛抗争的勇气，你对待生命的态度，我因此而得以充实和提高。现在我知道我不会失去你，因为我已满怀爱戴之情回忆你，你将陪伴着我，直至我生命的最后一天。

rikokushin

28．Ogden Nash to His Daughter

  

February 6，1939

My sweet girls，

I wish so that you were here with us．Thenext time we must surely bring you along，soremember to practice your manners and learn to eatall sorts of food．Paris is full of children．Thereare lots of parks，and every park is full of boys andgirls on bicycles and roller skates，or playingfootball and other games all day long．Also，Ithink everybody in Paris has a dog，but none ofthem are as pretty as Spangle．A beautiful river，the Seine，runs right through the middle of thecity，and Mummy and I have already counted 22bridges that cross it．Don't you think that youcould have fun here？The French children are verypolite，as everyone is in France，and I am sure youwould enjoy playing with them；so，Linell，youmust pay great attention to your French teacherand learn very fast，in order to be able tounderstand well when you come here．You mightteach I sabel some of what you learn，too．

There are many，many interesting things tosee here．Paris is a very old city，and todayMummy and I saw a beautiful building， that wasstarted by the Romans more than 1 600 years ago．It is called Cluny．We have also been to theLouvre，a museum now full of the most beautifulpaintings and statues；but years ago the kings andqueens of France used to live there，until theFrench people got angry with them and choppedoff their heads．

This afternoon we went to a beautiful cathedral on an island in the middle of the river．Itis called the Cathedral of  tre Dame，whichmeans the cathedral of Our Lady the Virgin．It ismore than 900 years old，and so high that you canhardly see the top．The windows are of gorgeousstained glass，red and blue and yellow and greenand purple，so that they cast light like a rainbowon the walls．A very good king of France who lived700 years ago and later became Saint Louis wasburied（from） there．Tell Delia that we offered acandle to the Virgin Mary for each of you there，and that we are bringing her back a rosary fromthere also．Mummy and I climbed the tower later．We were very tired when we got to the top，but itwas interesting．Some hideous stone gargoyles were looking right into our faces，so we lookeddown at Paris lying at our feet，aud it wasbeautiful．We could see miles of river，and thebridges and the lovely old buildings．——It iswarmer here than at home，but sometimes the fogis so thick that even the taxi drivers get lost；lastnight three of them ran right off the street and intothe fountains on the Rond Point on the ChampsElysees，which Boppy can tell you about．It musthave been very damp and uncomfortable for thepassengers．

I think you would like the French trains．Werode on one from Le Havre to Paris just like theone that Gaston et Joséphine took when they wereleaving for America．When the engine whistles itsays tweet tweet instead of toot toot，and theporters are very polite．

Yon would like the boat，too．There is a littletheatre where there are puppet shows for childrenevery afternoon，and there is plenty of room to runand play on the decks．Sometimes，when the windblows hard and the sea is rough，the boat joggles alittle bit，but that is good fun，like being in aswing．On our trip there was a little girl only 14years old who is already famous because she playsthe violin so beautifully；her name is Guila Bustabo，and she played for us one night，at thegala concert，where everybody gave money to helpthe old sailors．French sailors have very pinkcheeks indeed，and speak very fast，and I don'tthink they ever get old．really，so I am not surewho got the money．

I must tell you that whenever you walk alongthe banks of the Seine you see dozens of old menfishing with long，1ong poles．I don't think theyever catch anything，but they have a lovely timethinking about what they might catch justsupposing there were any fish there．We'll try itwhen you come here with us；perhaps we'll catchthe first fish ever to be caught there．

I adore you both，my darlings，

and don't forget me．

Daddy

rikokushin

28．奥格登·纳什致女儿

  

我可爱的女儿们：

我真希望你们能同我们一起在这里，下次我们一定把你们也带来，所以你们要记住多学礼貌并学会吃各种类型的食物。巴黎有许多孩子，还有许多公园，而且每个公园整天都有许多男孩子和女孩子在骑自行车、滑旱冰，或者踢足球和玩其它的游戏。而且我觉得，尽管巴黎的每个人都有一条狗，但没有一条狗像斯潘格那样漂亮。美丽的塞纳河正好从市中心穿过。我和你们的妈妈曾经数过，河上有22座桥。难道你们不觉得你们在这里会感到非常有趣吗？就像每个法国人一样，法国孩子非常有礼貌，我保证你们会非常喜欢与他们一起玩耍；所以，利内尔你必须多留心观察你的法语教师，这样就可以学得更快，以便你来这里后能更好地理解法文，你也可以教伊莎贝尔一些你所学到的东西。

这里有许许多多有趣的东西可看。巴黎是一个非常古老的城市。今天我和你们的妈妈看了一处非常美丽的建筑。它是1600多年前由罗马人开始建造的，它的名字叫克卢尼。我们也去了卢浮宫这个充满最美丽的绘画和雕塑的博物馆。但是许多年以前，法国历代国王和王后曾住在那里，直到法国人民愤怒起义，砍掉了他们的头。

今天下午，我们去了一座美丽的教堂，它座落在塞纳河中央的一个岛上，教堂名为巴黎圣母院，意思是我们的圣母教堂。它已有900多年的历史。教堂很高，以至于几乎看不到它的顶部。窗户是用彩色玻璃做的，有红色、兰色、黄色、绿色和紫色，所以玻璃把光投射到墙上就像彩虹一样。有一位非常好的法国皇帝，他生活在700年前，后来成为圣路易，他就埋在那儿。告诉迪莉娅，在那里，我们替你们每个人给圣母玛利亚献了一支蜡烛，并且我们将从那里给她带回一串念珠。我和妈妈后来爬上了高塔。当我们爬到塔顶时，感到非常累，但却非常有趣。一些可怕的奇形怪状的石刻滴水嘴正对着我们，俯视脚下的巴黎，它十分美丽。我们能看到一段数英里长的河流、河上的桥以及可爱的古老建筑。这儿比国内暖和一些，但有时浓雾弥漫，就连出租车司机都会迷路。昨晚，三辆出租车开出街道，开进了位于切普斯·艾利瑟斯街的街心喷泉池中，博普会给你们讲这件事。车上的乘客们身上一定是湿漉漉的，很不舒服。

我想你们一定喜欢法国的火车。我们乘火车从哈佛尔到巴黎。那列火车与加斯东和约瑟芬他们去美国时乘坐的火车很相似。引擎发出“吱吱”声而不是“嘟嘟”声，而且服务员们都彬彬有礼。

你们也一定喜欢船。船上有一个小剧院，每天下午给孩子们演木偶剧，而且甲板上有足够的空间让孩子们跑来跑去玩耍。有时候，风刮得很厉害，海浪汹涌，船就会有些摇晃，但这很有趣，就像坐在秋千上。在我们的旅行中，有一个年仅14岁的小姑娘，她已非常有名气，因为她的小提琴拉得非常好，她的名字叫吉拉·布斯塔波。有一天晚上，在节日音乐会上，她为我们演奏，每个人都出了钱用以帮助那些老水手。法国水手们脸色红润，说话很快，我觉得他们不会变老，真的，所以我无法肯定谁得了那些钱。

我还要告诉你们，无论你们什么时候沿着塞纳河岸走，你都能看见许多老人拿着很长很长的鱼杆钓鱼。我想他们什么也没有钓到，但他们很愉快，因为他们觉得那儿有鱼，那么他们就有希望钓到鱼。等你们来到这儿和我们一起时，我们也去试试。也许我们将捕到在此被人们捕到的第一条鱼。

我爱你们俩，亲爱的，

不要忘记我。

爸爸

1939年2月6日

rikokushin

29．Ogden Nash to

His Wife（Frances）

  

August 27，1929

Frances darling，

I've been reading your letter over all day，it's so dear，even the part that worried me．I imagine that tomorrow morning's mail will tell me what has happened and whether I really upset things．My mind has been constantly on the Cape——I can see you，but I don't know what you are doing and saying，and I want so dreadfully to know．Tell me that everything is all right，and tell me again．I've wanted to telephone，but I know you don't like the telephone，and besides I remember that yours is right out in the middle of everything and conversation is impossible．Damn the distancebetween us！You won't get this until thirty sixhours after I write it．But remember that when Itell you now that I love you I shall be loving youeven more by the time you read the words．LastSunday I couldn't have believed that my love couldever be bigger and stronger than it was then——but it's growing every hour．Can't you feel it？

Yesterday I couldn't do a stroke of work．I was exhausted——burned out——stunned．Theterrific suspense and emotional strain and then theunbelievable happiness left me without much bodyor mind．But today I was myself again，only betterthan ever before；you were the motive for everything．I've never had so much energy．Youhave done that；don't stop．

Haven't you a photograph or even a snapshot of yourself？I want to look at and touch，as I readand touch your letters；it helps bring you a littlecloser．

Frances dear，don't be afraid；it's for me to beafraid；afraid that you are too beautiful，too sweet，too adorable，actually to be mine；afraid that I amnot good enough to make you happy when I haveyou．Yet I'm not really afraid I can't make youhappy；I worship you，and I know that such a lovecan create only happiness．

Tonight I have to read two manuscripts．I tryto believe that it is your hand that turns the pages；that you are sitting and reading with me．It's lovelyhere；real country；with crickets that are doing theirbest to sing your name．

Good night，and I love you，and again，remember when you read it that my love will bethirty-six hours bigger．Have you room for it？Ilove you．

Ogden

rikokushin

29．奥格登·纳什致妻（弗朗西丝）

  

亲爱的弗朗西丝：

我整整一天都在看你的信，你的信太可爱了，甚至令我担忧的那部分也如此可爱。我想象着明天早上收到的邮件将告诉我发生了什么事，是否我真的把事情搅乱了。我的心思一直都在好望角上——我能看见你，却不知道你在做什么、你在说什么，但我却如此渴望知道这一切。告诉我一切都很好，再告诉我一遍。我多想给你打电话，但我知道你不喜欢电话，而且我还记得你的电话总是出故障，不可能交谈。真该死！我们相隔这样远！在我写完这封信三十六小时之后，你才能收到它。但你要记住，我现在对你说我爱你，而在你看到这些话的时候我将更爱你。上个星期天，我没有想到我此时对你的爱比那时更深、更强烈——我的爱每时每刻都在增加。你能感觉到吗？

昨天，我一点儿工作都没做。我感到精疲力尽，劳累不堪，头晕眼花。可怕的不安与紧张的情绪以及后来的令人难以置信的幸福使我身心疲惫。但今天我又恢复如初，而且比过去任何时候都好；你是这一切转机的动力。我从来没有如此精力充沛过。这一切都缘于你，一直做下去吧。

你有照片吗？或者一张你的快照？在我阅读和触摸你的信件时，我也想看一看、摸一摸你的照片，这使你离我更近一些。

亲爱的弗朗西丝，不要担心。感到担心的应该是我。我担心你太美丽了，太温柔了，太可爱了，你不会真正属于我。我担心当我拥有你时，我无法使你欢乐。可我也并不真正担心我不能使你快乐。我崇拜你，我知道这样的爱只会创造出幸福。

今晚我得阅读两份手稿。我憧憬着正是你的手在为我翻开每一页，也正是你和我坐在一起阅读。这儿非常可爱，是真正的乡村，蟋蟀都在尽情地吟唱着你的名字。

晚安，我爱你。再一次告诉你，请你记住，当你读这封信时，我的爱经历了三十六小时后膨胀得更大，你有空间接受它吗？我爱你。

奥格登

1929年8月27日

rikokushin

30．John O'hara to His

Daughter（Wylie O'hara）（Ⅰ）

  

Princeton

7th January1962，Sunday

My dear：

I have been thinking about our conversation oflast night，and I hope you have too．

1962，in some ways，is Wylie O'hara's Year ofDecision．Some of the decisions you make this yearwill have an important bearing on decisions youmay want to make several years hence．

For example：suppose that when you are 20 or21 you should discover that you want to participatein one of the many activities that will be open toyoung people in the federal or state government．The first thing they will want to know is whateducation and/or training you have had Nowadaysthe minimum，absolute minimum requirement forhundreds of jobs is two years'college，either at afour-year-college or at a junior college．

For another example：you have said that youdon't expect to marry before you are 23．Well，thatis something you can't be sure of，but suppose you do wait till you're 23．Suppose your fiancé-husband is a young man who is taking graduatework at some university——law，medicine，the sciences，government work，etc．—and you and he are living in the vicinity of his graduate school．You may want to do work on the college or the graduate school level yourself，but I assure you youwill not be very enthusiastic about it if you have tostart as a freshman of 23．

Now I could go on at some length，but the point I am aiming at it this：I want you to thinkvery，very seriously about what you are going to doafter St．Tim's．You are not Miss Richbitch．Youare not going to be Miss Churchmouse，either，butyou must think in terms of being able to earn atleast part of your own living．I don't think you aregoing to fall in love with a dumbhead．I think adumbhead，rich or not，would bore the hell out ofyou．Therefore it is extremely likely that the kindof boy you will like and fall in love with is going tobe one who uses his brains to earn his living．Thatalmost automatically means that he will be takingeither graduate work or special post-college training of some sort．And even if you have children right away，you will want to keep up with him intellectually．

I can tell you from my own experience how important it is to have a wife with whom to discuss one's work．My first wife was a Wellesley B．A．and a Columbia M．A．and a diplomat，I think they are called，at the Sorbonne．Your mother did not go to college，but she could have．Sister And your mother both graduated from good schools and took courses at Columbia and your mother even attended lectures at Oxford without having toenroll there．Both your mother and Sister loved toread and read a great deal，and Sister is multilingual．Both your mother and Sister dislikedwomen's colleges，but they did not dislike higherlearning．They formed their dislike of college-girltypes thirty years ago．The type has almostvanished，because the kind of girl your mother andSister were then would be applying for collegetoday．Everybody goes to college．

Now this is what's on my mind：the tentative program you have outlined for yourself does notseem to me very“realistic”in 1962 and 1963 and soon．I am hopeful that you will redirect yourselftoward a good college so that you will get thosetwo minimum-requirement years on your recordand then be able，three years from now，to qualifyfor jobs or continue working for a degree．You will not regret having those two years on your record，whereas you might easily regret not having them．As your father I have a duty to point these thingsout to you．But once I have done that I have toleave the real decision up to you．

Love，

Dad

rikokushin

30．约翰·奥哈拉致

女儿（威利·奥哈拉）（1）

  

亲爱的女儿：

我一直在思考我们昨晚的谈话，我希望你也如此。

1962年，从某种程度上来说，是对威利·奥哈拉具有决定性的一年。你今年所做的决定将会对你几年后所希望做出的决定起到至关重要的作用。

比如说：假设当你20岁或21岁时发现你想参加联邦政府或州政府为年轻人组织的某项活动。他们需要了解的第一件事就是你受过何种教育和培训。如今，对各行各业最低的要求是两年的大学教育，要么在四年制大学里学习，要么在两年制大学里学习。

再举一个例子：你说过你不想在23岁以前结婚。也许，这是你无法肯定的，但我们就假设你的确等到23岁。假设你的未婚夫是个在某所大学里读研究生的年轻人，他学的可能是法律、医学、理科、行政管理等等。你和他住在他的研究生院附近。你也许会希望你自己也上大学或读研究生，但我肯定，如果你在23岁时成为大学新生，你将没有热情去学习。

现在我得多说一些，但我的目的是：我希望你非常非常严肃地对待从圣·蒂姆斯中学毕业后你将做什么这一问题。你现在不是富家小姐。你将来也不会是一贫如洗的姑娘，但你必须考虑你怎样才能挣到至少你自己的部分生活费。我想你不会爱上一个笨蛋。我认为，一个笨蛋，不管是穷是富，他都会使你极其厌烦。因此，你喜欢或爱上的那种男孩儿，极有可能是用智慧来谋生的人。那就理所当然地意味着，他会读研究生或是接受大学毕业后的某种培训。并且，即使你想立即生孩子，你也会希望能与他在才智方面保持一致。

我可以用我自己的经历告诉你，有一个能与自己讨论工作的妻子有多么重要。我的第一个妻子是威尔斯利大学的学士和哥伦比亚大学的硕士，我想，在索波姆他们这些人被称为有学位证书的人。你母亲没有上过大学，但她有能力上大学。西斯特和你母亲都毕业于很好的中学，并且在哥伦比亚大学修过课，而且你母亲甚至在不必注册的情况下在剑桥大学听过课。你母亲和西斯特都酷爱读书，读过许多书，而且西斯特会说多种语言。你母亲和西斯特都不喜欢女子大学，但她们并非不喜欢高等教育。她们不喜欢三十年前那种女大学生的模式。这种模式已几乎消失，因为像当年你母亲和西斯特那样的女孩，如今都在申请读大学。人人都读大学。

现在我所考虑的是：你为自己所制定的暂时计划，在我看来这在1962年或1963年或其它时候都是不太现实的。我希望，你能改变原来的计划，去读一所好大学，这样在你的履历上就会有受过两年大学教育的这一最低要求，三年后，你就有资格找工作或继续学习、获得学位。你不会因为在你的履历上有这两年而后悔的，而你也许极易因为没有这两年而懊悔。作为你的父亲，我有责任为你指出这一切。但是，我一旦为你指明了这一切，我就得把真正的决定权留给你。

爱你的，

爸爸

于普林斯顿

1962年1月7日星期日