自己写的作文,请大家帮忙指正

speed_eriko

On College Students Renting on House or a Place Off Campus


    Nowadays, more and more college students rent a house on the outside.

    Renting. However, with the sharp rise in the place off campus, many problems arise in it.

    Some college students select to rent a house on the outside. They think the living enviroment and free deprive them of joy and happiness. In their view, restriction does harm to them physically and mentally. For example, they feel disappointed when dormitory is turned off the lights on time in the evening that affact them surf the internet. If they stay outside, they will not obey this rule. And some people think that noise affect their learning.There are four college students generally in the dormitory. So they want to study and live at a quiet life. These why they prefer rent a house on the outside.

    Others argue that a place off campus has many problems. First, it's dangerous.Nobody know that in case of gas poisoning, robbery, murder and suicide and other accidents. Second, less get along with classmates. University is the best stage to learn mutual affection. It would advantage them to concept of the collectivism and help their development of thinking education.

    In my opinion, we should believe their judgement and decision in spite of they select to living at the campus or rent a house on the outside.

我知道自己肯定有很多语法错误,请大家帮忙指正,谢谢!

narutonaruto

确实很多错误，只看了最后一句。。。。要改，有点难。。

narutonaruto

建议花点时间看看语法书。少写几句，写通顺点，欲速则不达啊

speed_eriko

回复 3# narutonaruto
恩,有道理,不过我总是静不下心来看语法书

helladise

回复  narutonaruto
恩,有道理,不过我总是静不下心来看语法书
speed_eriko 发表于 2010-3-16 21:13

    不一定非得看语法书的。看小说也一样。

narutonaruto

不一定非得看语法书的。看小说也一样。
helladise 发表于 2010-3-17 16:39

   さすが親分様。感心です

peteryang821

そうね!回复 6# narutonaruto

narutonaruto

さすが親分様。感心です
narutonaruto 发表于 2010-3-17 17:10

领导发奖金了。。。。爽歪歪啊。

谢谢老妖。

kawaiipeace

偶无聊，试着改了一下LZ的作文，请高手们帮忙看看有无语法错误啊。虾虾啦！

Nowadays, more and more college students are willing to rent a house outside instead of living in dormitory.
第二段啥意思么看懂。。。感觉即便是中文放在这里也老不好的嘛。。。
Some of them prefer to rent a house outside because they think that the living enviroment in dormitory may create unfreedom and unhappiness.Many rules of dormitory will bring not only physically but also mentally pain to them.For example,they will get disappointed when the light are put out at regular time acorrding to the dormitory rules,that have to make them stop surfing the internet.If they live outside,they can just do what they want.Other students complained that the noise in dormitory always interfere with their study.Basically,there are 4 students in one dormitory.If someone want to study in the dormitory,the others have to keep quiet.However,many things go contrary to your wishes.
Conversely,some college students do not think living outside is good for them.Out of campus will bring about many troubles.First,it is so dangerous that nobody knows when it will happen and how to face it something like gas poisoning,robbery,murder,suicide etc..Second,if you live outside,it will reduce a lot of time getting along with your classmates.They think university is the best stage to learn mutual affection.It's also the place to cultivate college students' team spirit and to develop their thinking education.
In my opinion,no matter which they choose,we should respect their decision.
咳咳。。。

kawaiipeace

the titile may be "Rent a house or live in a dormitory?"

narutonaruto

the titile may be "Rent a house or live in a dormitory?"
kawaiipeace 发表于 2010-3-24 14:39

若前面不加to，貌似是有问题的。

个人意见。

kawaiipeace

哦素瓦？那文章里有语法错误瓦？恳请指摘啊。

narutonaruto

回复 12# kawaiipeace


   
个人感觉表达比较中式,但是语法方面比lz还是强很多的。

个人意见，呵呵。

kawaiipeace

木下剑一郎

首先 搞清楚house 和room 的区别吧
错误太多了 没忍心读下去
先打好基础 多模仿再练笔吧