After that heroic moment, I realized what a stupid thing I have done. But it’s too late. Actually, I didn’t mean to do that, because it’s obvious that I won’t benefit from this heroic action any more. However, I couldn’t control my own hand to write them down. It sounds ridiculous that my body refused to be consistent with my mind, but it did happen.

If it goes back to two years ago, there’s no doubt that I won’t take the same action. At that time, I hold the strong belief that one must pay for his absence no matter what the reason was, even my best friends. But now, I begin to hesitate. Perhaps, I don’t want to make myself a cold-hearted girl. Maybe I should try to do something to convert my image. Showing my “warm heart” ‘”willingness of giving hands to others” shouldn’t be so difficult for me, although it indeed is.

Should I be glad to do so or not?